Good news!  My query is done! Cost: $50

After a slight delay, I finally hooked up with my editor/query godmother. She asked me to send her what I had. I wasn’t sure what that meant. So, I sent her a bunch of random notes and jibberish. I sent her a big pile of crap. This editor had already edited the first draft of my book, so she had some insight. This was the starting off point.

First Draft: She sent a great letter back, it was clear and concise, but it was written for a different story. I forgot to tell her that I did a lot of rewrites since the original draft. Although her query was great, the story had changed.

You must have a clear understanding of what your book is about. If you don’t, you cannot write an effective query.

First Edit: I attempted to rewrite the query using her outline with the updated story facts. I pinpointed every god forsaken “big” moment in the book. Explained why things happened. Where things went. It was long. So long. I turned my query into a synopsis. Good news is, I know how to write a synopsis.

The query should consist of 2-3 paragraphs outlining major plot points. Do not include backstory or explain character relationships in detail. 

Second Draft: She sends back notes on the difference between a query and a synopsis.

A query is a brief explanation of your book. It does NOT disclose the ending. You want to hook the agent. Make him/her want to read your book.

A synopsis is an outline of your story, it can be 2-10 pages depending on the genre you write. (Fantasy requires more detailed explanation than romance.) It should disclose all major plot points, twists, and the ending. This is also an opportunity for agents to get a feel for your writing. Don’t take synopsis writing lightly!

Second Edit: I cut the synopsis down to just facts, no details, and made it a query again. A cliff notes version of the cliff notes version of the story. It’s the hook. The one line under the book at a bookstore. It’s the elevator pitch.

A query should answer the question every writer hates: What’s your book about? 

Final Draft:  She sent the letter back with a big “I love it!” She made no changes, it was just a matter of cleaning up typos etc… Which were many.

Please. Please. Edit your letter! If you have typos and grammar errors in a query, many agents will not even open your manuscript.

 

In the end, I probably wrote 90% of the letter myself, but I never would have gotten from point A to B without her help. I just needed a push or the comradery. The deadline. Volleying back and forth with her was worth every penny. It helped me put my thoughts in order and her knowledge of editing kept the letter clean and professional.

For most of us, writing is a solitary endeavor. Editing shouldn’t be.

 

There are so many things you can’t do when you’re married. 

  1. You can’t kiss other people.
  2. You can’t have sex with other people. A girls’ night, becomes you and your kissing-bargirlfriends just pretending to be sluts.
  3. You can’t be friends with single people. You can’t meet someone of the opposite sex at a bar or the gym; exchange phone numbers to grab a drink later and hang out. (did I mention no sex with other people?)
  4. No flirting. The people you are allowed to flirt with just dwindled down to almost no one. Your husband. Your drunk best friend. Her husband (maybe and depending on how drunk you are). The kid that bags your groceries. Random waitresses and bartenders. They’re only humoring you so you’ll leave a good tip.hangcuffs
  5. You can’t leave. You have to go home every night. Sleeping at a friend’s house takes on a whole new meaning. Can you imagine your husband or wife calling to say they just decided to crash at a friend’s place on Saturday? If you are within a three-hundred-mile radius, you better take your ass home.
  6. giphyNot caring is no longer an option. You always have to care. About food (was it good, did look like the buzz feed video), a post on Facebook, a funny tweet, feelings. Feelings are important to married people.

Do you care about my feelings? Do I care about his? Does he respect my feelings? Does he understand my feelings? Can he spell the word feelings?

6. Kids. Do you want them? Can you have them? Do you have too many? You can’t have them. He has too many.

Because of the things we can’t do, we reevaluate boring shit and classify it as fun. Some examples:

  1. IKEA
  2. Painting shit or general home improvements.
  3. Yard work
  4. Brunch
  5. PG-13 movies
  6. Sex on a Tuesday
  7. Washing dishes together.
  8. Reading on a Saturday night.
  9. Wine in a box.
  10. Craft beer tasting. Craft beer in general.
  11. Pinterest
  12. Card games that don’t involve alcohol or nudity.
  13. Kids.

Marriage can eventually become something enjoyable. When feelings are no longer hurt, when leaving is no longer a threat, when kids finally grow the fuck up.

Until then, drink heavily my friends.

I can’t believe its only been one year. Just 12 months since my first book was released.

I feel so blessed and humbled by the support and love I’ve received from the book community. There are no words, and for a writer, that is pretty serious.

I’m kicking off my book birthday week by giving away my book for FREE.

That’s right. FREE.

FREE THIZZ FOR EVERYONE!

Get it here: http://amzn.to/2e75dSJ

free-book-birthday

My biggest downfall is marketing. Myself to be exact. Which is ironic since my day job is in, you guessed it, marketing. Promotional Marketing. So, why can’t I market myself? I must totally suck at my job.

As far as marketing my book, I’ve done Facebook Ads, Kindle Ads, Promos, Giveaways, I post on blogs, and social media. I have no idea what what works and what doesn’t because I don’t follow my own rule.

I don’t stick to one strategy and track results. Most of time I’m winging it. Ok, all the time.

So, when something like this happens:

Rankings-6

I have no clue what boosted my sudden surge in rankings!

Was it the free giveaway that put my book on everyone’s radar?

Was it the three days I posted buy links on blogs?

Was it the new teaser I plastered on all my social medias?

WHAT!  What did I do right!

Maybe it was nothing. Just dumb luck. Or a marketing fairy is secretly promoting my book while I sleep.

This leads me to my second question:

At what point can I say I’m an Amazon Best Seller? Does ranking in the top 100 in a genre count? Does anyone care? 

If you have the answer PLEASE let me know. Seriously. I want to know if I can fly that tagline on the banner of my website.

 Amazon Best Selling Author…

It has a nice flow to it.


The ranking above was for Thizz, A Love Story.

Buy it here 

Add it your Goodreads here.

Follow me on Facebook here.

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I’ve heard the term Wattpad blowing in the wind for some time now. One of my favorite author people – Colleen Hoover – put a book on a Wattpad for free. Thought it was cool.

Fast forward to last night. I was thinking about my novella. I wrote it for charity. I wanted to offer it for free, but Amazon won’t let me. I’ve already given away more copies than I’ve sold, as it should be.

This morning I loaded the book to Wattpad for all to enjoy for free. If you want to buy it on Kindle it’s only 99 cents. Why pay when you can read for free!

The Excursion: A Vacation Novella on Wattpad

You have to create an account on Wattpad to read it, but that’s free too! 2016.01-Iheartfreestuff-new-660px