The big 3-0

Thirty years ago, there was an earthquake in San Francisco. It was a big one. Not THE big one, but a pretty big one. The bay bridge collapsed. A freeway fell. Lot’s of fire and mayhem.

I was out and about with my husband (then boyfriend) on are way to Payless Shoes so he could buy work boots for his $7/hr job. My daughter was just shy of her first birthday. We had no money in the bank, hell, I don’t even think we had a bank account. Our lives were just beginning.

Thirty years later, I write this while my daughter’s nearly one-year-old daughter plays at my feet. It’s rare to have an event to look back on so long ago with perfect clarity. To remember exactly where you were, who you were in a moment in time.

I’m having a moment now.

Having enough to pay rent and buy groceries in the same week was the goal. One we rarely accomplished. This morning my husband and I argued over money. If the naive kids who shopped for cheap shoes during a 7.1 earthquake could see us today, they’d be so grateful to have what we have. Sometimes we lose sight of how far we’ve come. Often, we forget that we’re in this together. I sent my husband a text after he left for work, to say I loved him and appreciated him. I also said this:

30 years ago we were just starting our lives. The next 30 years will be how we end.

It freaked me out. But it’s true. Whether you are so young you can’t fathom being 3-0. Or you’re 30 now and just figuring shit out. Or maybe you’re on the back 30, like us. Stop right now and appreciate how far you’ve come. Then take a moment, or several, to think about where you want to be 30, 20, 10, 5 years from now. I wish like fuck, someone told how fast it would go.

Alee

Finally.

I began writing this book 3 years ago after a life-changing event. It has morphed from the original story into a tale of love and loss. I bled the 57,000-ish words within this cover. I truly hope readers respect Alee’s journey. There is a little bit of her in all of us.

Alee is the first official book in the Every Girl series.

Pre-order: http://rebrand.ly/tg171q

Add to your TBR: http://rebrand.ly/6e355

Join my Group: http://rebrand.ly/2u9y3s

EZVID and Thizz, a video

I was tagged a week ago in a post on Facebook as an author who made a list. I’ve made a list once or twice and it is ALWAYS an honor. But when I saw this list I was stoked! Because it isn’t just a list, it’s a video.

Someone, a person, took the time to make a video, a damn good one, about my book. The craziest thing about the video?? One of the shots is the block my husband grew up on. It was purely coincidental, but so spectacular.

13 Contemporary YA Romances That Explore The Full Range Of Teen Experiences

Click here to read the full article.

THANKS EZVID for including Thizz, A Love Story on your list!

Thizz is available on Amazon, Audible, or read it free with Kindle Unlimited.

AUTHOR HACK!

For those indie authors out there gettin’ your hustle on, I have a trick for you.

As you may know, Amazon has taken over Createspace. (sad) In doing so, they have fucked us. Createspace allowed authors to purchase paperbacks before the book release. Like actual paperback books. Amazon does not. The “author copies” available before release have a big “NOT FOR RESALE” banner across the entire book, even the spine.

Forget having a bookstagram photo shoot before the book is released or pre-selling copies at a signing!

I digress, this is a happy-ish post. The Lunam Legacy released on August 5th. Since Amazon claims it takes up to 72 hours to approve a paperback, I hit publish on Saturday. By Sunday afternoon the book was live and available for delivery via Amazon Prime by Tuesday, three short days before my signing. Phew!

HOLD THE PHONE: When I went to order author copies, the ship date was 10 days out! Even with overnight shipping (which I would never do) it was still 3 days too late.

Solution: I made the paperback as cheap as possible and updated the price. Amazon had the new price listed within hours. I then ordered all my copies with Amazon Prime 2 day free shipping to arrive at my signing with one day to spare.

How much did I pay? The same (almost). Had I ordered the books two weeks ago and shipping them ground (Amazon doesn’t offer prime shipping on author copies). I would’ve paid $6.13/book. I paid $6.88/book.

Here is the hack! I paid an extra $.75 for the books, but the purchase is listed as a sale. Even though I make zilch in royalties, my ranking went up. Full disclosure: I only ordered 20 books. It you’re ordering 100 that $.75/book is a bit more substantial. In the grand scheme of things, is it really? That margin may shorten the more you order. It’s all a numbers game. Today, I feel like I have the win.

Book Bonanza 2019

EEK!! I can’t believe I leave in 3 days to the largest signing of my life.

Am I prepared. No.

You can try to prepare for an event of this magnitude, but you really have no idea what is going to happen. Will 2,000 people stop at my table or 200? Or 20. It’s nuts. Deciding how many books to bring is even crazier. I will have books, and booze, and candy. The three essentials of every great signing.

I also created a tabletop sign and had it made at Got Print, so I don’t have to haul my big ass sign to Texas. Even though everything is bigger in Texas, I’m going small.

If you are reading this and will be at Book Bonanza please stop by to say hi!

Ending a Series.

Tomorrow the final book in my Lunam Series will be made public for all to read. I’m stressin’. What if fans of the series hate it? What if they don’t and want more books? What if nobody reads it?

Just in case, I came up with a spin-off series, because I’m a glutton for punishment. Writing paranormal is hard. Writing in general is hard. Who knows if I’ll ever write it. I have seven (7) yes, seven beginnings on my computer at this very moment, and another five (5), or more ideas in my notebook. That’s a lot of fucking writing. When my husband catches me blank staring at my salad (let’s be real, it’s not a salad) and waves in my face to snap be back to this world, another plot bunny is born. Plot bunnies are like real bunnies, they procreate a lot.

A few of the bunnies I’m raising can be series. Do I really want that drama again? I didn’t know this back in 2016 when I wrote The Lunam Ceremony, that you can’t go years between a series, for people to really care (by care I mean read) about the series you should publish every six months.

SIX MONTHS! (insert laughing gif)

Since I only average a book a year…that’s not gonna happen. The only way that could happen is if I write the entire series before the first one releases. Also, not gonna happen. Or maybe it will.

The light at the end of this very short tunnel is that I have already written my next book. It was written four or five years ago. Shelved. Rewritten. Shelved again. Unlike some of my other books, this one means something to me. Sending it out into the world for everyone to read (judge) makes my heart hurt.

Buy the Lunam Legacy or the entire series on Amazon.

Side Game is on NET GALLEY

Read book two in the Men of Trance series free on Net Galley

Cake-Teaser

Are You a Hypocrite?

Week Two:

I will premise this week’s post by saying, I adore Nutsa. But she’s a tad bit hypocritical.Are You The One Season 7 CR: Brian Bielmann/MTV

Nutsa:  “I don’t care what Bria says, I will do whatever I want. I like Zak. If I want to kiss him, I’ll kiss him.”

Morgan flirts with Zak.

Nutsa crying: “How can you do that to me?!? You knew I liked him!”

Hypocrisy is part of the game, especially when you throw a bunch of beautiful millennials together and make them compete for love. Nothing says love more than sneaking off to the boom boom room with a guy because you THINK he’s the one. Even though he runs around telling every woman who gives him six minutes of attention, that she is the one.

I don’t want to bad mouth Zak. I like Zak. I think Zak has mommy-issues. Men who need for attention from women (negative and positve) are usually searching for something they lacked in childhood. Since we’re on the subject of issues…

Bria, honey. You broke loose. You let him go, for like a night. Then YOU pulled him into the boom boom room. YOU did it. He wanted you, there’s no doubt. But it was all YOU.

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But don’t stand there and accuse HIM of making you look like a fool. That’s all YOU.

Don’t put yourself in a position (any position) to be let down. To be made to look like a fool. You need to let Zak go. He doesn’t want you. He’ll bang you. He’ll kiss you. He’ll make you feel good. But he will never respect you.

I sincerely hope Bria is/has done some self-relection and realizes she’s worth so much more than what Zak can offer.

Tevin & Kenya

Tevin kisses Jasmine while dancing.

Kenya takes Lewis to the Boom Boom room. (Kenya blows Lewis)

Lewis: “You hella nasty.”

Kenya confesses to Tevin on last night’s episode.

Tevin:  You’re still my girl.tev_ken

Is this true love?

They did sit at the first two match-ups. There were 3 BEAMS.

Here are my possible matchups:

Cam & Kayla

Shamoy & Maria

Tevin & Kenya!?!

Bonus: Daniel & Nutsa.

We all know 3 beams, 2 weeks in a row, means NADA! They could be 3 different beams both weeks…or are they?

Fate Button issues.

As suspected, the fate button is going to be an issue. Randomly selecting four people to go on a date is fine. Forcing the housemates to get to know each other helps the game. But sending two of these random ass people to the truth booth – not cool!  How will they ever be able to determine a match if it’s just by chance?

I don’t know what the odds of two people being randomly selected by the fate button who actually are a match, but I know it’s crazy high. At least with the comps, they could throw it so a certain couples wins and is sent to the truth booth.

Makes me wonder if this is yet another way to screw up strategic play.

I say BOOOOO to that.

Here’s my updated spreadsheet for week 2. The couples who sat together both weeks are in red. My possible matches are in yellow. Really, I think Shamoy and Maria, Cam & Kayla are the only real possibilities.  At first, Tevin & Kenya were are hard no, but now I’m not sure. Tevin is really, really forgiving. For a player to be that cool with his girl giving oral pleasure to another dude, it must be true love.

Are-You-the-One-2.jpg

Are You The One?

It’s that time a year again. When love and drama and stats take over my life.

Yes, the new season of Are You The One? began last night. I have three words for you.

BEST. SEASON EVER.

I know I sound crazy making that assumption after the first night. But no more insane than Bria losing her shit over Zak. A guy she’s known for less than 12 hours and has already promised to cut his dick off.  Now that’s true love.

Bria-and-Zak

Bria is worried Zak will do something to make her look stupid like speaking to another female, which kind of negates why they are there in the first place.

bria_shove_brett-1534360967.gif

Bria, hon, where ever you are in the world – STOP what you’re doing and listen to Girl, Wash Your Face.

PEOPLE don’t make you do anything. YOU react to the actions of other people.

Wisdom of Rachel Hollis.

Now on to some of my favorite moments:

Every single time Lewis speaks. The guy is pure gold. From his DuckOakanda t-shirt, to his “Let a duck be a duck.” comment about Kenya! (side note: Lewis Belt is an actual comedian from the Bay Area!)

Daniel, the smooch bandit. He delivered one of my favorite lines of the night:

“Bria is the kind of girl who slashes your tires and breaks your windshield then leaves a note saying she did it!”

I’m not sure but I think Daniel kissed 5 girls in the house. One of them being Kenya.

Oh, Kenya. I like her cause she’s strong and goes for what she wants. Then I cover my face and beg for a commercial or a better edit. For as many women Daniel has kissed, Kenya has rubbed her booty on a man’s…you know who. I am all for living your best life. You do you, girl! But you cannot cry when you see Tevin kissing on Jasmine. You can’t claim betrayal when Tevin confesses to kissing someone in the hot tub after you were cuddled up with Daniel for a smooch session.giphy

And Tevin. I had you pegged all wrong. I thought you were cocky and confident. A player. Maybe you were, before Kenya. Either they gave you a bad edit or playing kissy face with Jasmine was more revenge than genuine interest.

Who ever came up with the Fate Button is genius! The challenges were lame anyway. Forcing people to interact with each other should make the game easier to win. Should. The first truth booth was a shot in the dark. Tomas and Maria were a no match. No surprise.

I did find a potential flaw in the fate button. IF they only send couples to the truth booth using the fate button, the odds of getting a perfect match are slim. I’ll assume for now, this is just a way to promote interaction. It cannot be the only way a couple visits the truth booth, otherwise there will be no matches! Technically, there were no matches in season 6 either, but they had Keith.

I’m a total geek when it comes to stats. Which is one reason why I loved Keith from season 6. The boy won it all by process of elimination. I’ve been using this method since season one.

Here is my spreadsheet. It’s pretty simple.

Are-You-the-One

As couples visit the truth booth, if they sat at a particular match ceremony, I will gray them out as a no match or highlight them in yellow as a match. When I’m really bored I’ll color the couples I think are a match to see if I’m right later. These are the 3 random maybes I have so far.

Are-You-the-One-guess

I also keep a chart of probability. This shows a process of elimination. This chart is vital in figuring out potential matches after multiple truth booth fails. As the chart shows, we have one confirmed no match.

AYTO

I made a promise to myself to post weekly. I may not have time to write a full blog, but I’ll at least post the charts so we can geek out together!

DISCLAMER: All opinions, inital thoughts, first impressions of the show are subject to change. I apologize to anyone I offended or will offend in the future. I won’t go there with Cam (the Trump-lover). I want to wait a few weeks before I form an opinion.

If you’re reading this, I’ve done something right.

Hello and Thank you for stopping by!

I felt like I should post something since it’s been forever.

We are less than a week away from BOOK BONANZA 18!!! I am beyond excited.

Per usual, the universe likes to knock me back a step or two.

universe

The last time this happened, I was riding a high after a writing conference when 4 agents asked to review Thizz. The next day I hit a light pole in the rain and it fell on my car and nearly crushed me to death.

It was probably just my really bad driving skills but it felt like more. Like the universe saying, “Wait a minute, bitch. This isn’t your time.”  So, I didn’t send a single agent an email. Stupid. So stupid. I know. Then a year and a half later I happened to be in the right group at the right time. Murphy Rae was starting Indie Solutions and I did email her. Which set me on the path to self-publish.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I really wish I was traditionally published and I have been working on a book that I plan to query (again, someday, soon). Right now, I need to focus on other projects like:

The Lunam Legacy, book 3 in the Lunam Series

Lunam3_Nook_Kobo

and Side Game, book 2 in the Men of Trance Series

Side-Game_Cover_edited

WRITING IS HARD

You know how sometimes its really hard to sit down and write a review? Imagine writing a two hundred page review, with proper punctuation and no gifs.

writing is hard.gif

Plus, my family is so over pizza. I’m going to try meal prepping while I finish these two books. The less time I spend in the kitchen, the more time I have to write. Or pretend to write while sitting at my desk eating cheddar-jack cheese its. It’s a process. Cheese its are part of the process. And coffee. Obscene amounts of coffee. And gin. Lot’s of lovely gin.

The universe likes to fuck up the process a lot. If it’s breaking the ‘N’ key on your keyboard, it’s being audited by the IRS. Like a legit audit. Like a we’re going to take your house audit. If that wasn’t bad enough, a week before the most important event of your writing career someone dies.

People die all the time. This person was my mother-in-law. She was in her eighties and 20170115_145401had stage-4 breast cancer. She was diagnosed 2 years ago, so everyday since then was a blessing. At her age, there was nothing they could do for her. She went quietly in the early morning hours. R.I.P. Crisy

Now, my family is prepping for a funeral and my husband is not going to BB18 with me. While I want to scream and be giddy when I see the seating chart or gush over the fact that I will be breathing the same air as E. L. James. I have to keep it all inside.

You better believe that as soon as my feet hit Denver soil, it’s on. So on. Like really on, like lights on and EVERYBODY’S home!turn up.gif