Week Two:

I will premise this week’s post by saying, I adore Nutsa. But she’s a tad bit hypocritical.Are You The One Season 7 CR: Brian Bielmann/MTV

Nutsa:  “I don’t care what Bria says, I will do whatever I want. I like Zak. If I want to kiss him, I’ll kiss him.”

Morgan flirts with Zak.

Nutsa crying: “How can you do that to me?!? You knew I liked him!”

Hypocrisy is part of the game, especially when you throw a bunch of beautiful millennials together and make them compete for love. Nothing says love more than sneaking off to the boom boom room with a guy because you THINK he’s the one. Even though he runs around telling every woman who gives him six minutes of attention, that she is the one.

I don’t want to bad mouth Zak. I like Zak. I think Zak has mommy-issues. Men who need for attention from women (negative and positve) are usually searching for something they lacked in childhood. Since we’re on the subject of issues…

Bria, honey. You broke loose. You let him go, for like a night. Then YOU pulled him into the boom boom room. YOU did it. He wanted you, there’s no doubt. But it was all YOU.

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But don’t stand there and accuse HIM of making you look like a fool. That’s all YOU.

Don’t put yourself in a position (any position) to be let down. To be made to look like a fool. You need to let Zak go. He doesn’t want you. He’ll bang you. He’ll kiss you. He’ll make you feel good. But he will never respect you.

I sincerely hope Bria is/has done some self-relection and realizes she’s worth so much more than what Zak can offer.

Tevin & Kenya

Tevin kisses Jasmine while dancing.

Kenya takes Lewis to the Boom Boom room. (Kenya blows Lewis)

Lewis: “You hella nasty.”

Kenya confesses to Tevin on last night’s episode.

Tevin:  You’re still my girl.tev_ken

Is this true love?

They did sit at the first two match-ups. There were 3 BEAMS.

Here are my possible matchups:

Cam & Kayla

Shamoy & Maria

Tevin & Kenya!?!

Bonus: Daniel & Nutsa.

We all know 3 beams, 2 weeks in a row, means NADA! They could be 3 different beams both weeks…or are they?

Fate Button issues.

As suspected, the fate button is going to be an issue. Randomly selecting four people to go on a date is fine. Forcing the housemates to get to know each other helps the game. But sending two of these random ass people to the truth booth – not cool!  How will they ever be able to determine a match if it’s just by chance?

I don’t know what the odds of two people being randomly selected by the fate button who actually are a match, but I know it’s crazy high. At least with the comps, they could throw it so a certain couples wins and is sent to the truth booth.

Makes me wonder if this is yet another way to screw up strategic play.

I say BOOOOO to that.

Here’s my updated spreadsheet for week 2. The couples who sat together both weeks are in red. My possible matches are in yellow. Really, I think Shamoy and Maria, Cam & Kayla are the only real possibilities.  At first, Tevin & Kenya were are hard no, but now I’m not sure. Tevin is really, really forgiving. For a player to be that cool with his girl giving oral pleasure to another dude, it must be true love.

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It’s that time a year again. When love and drama and stats take over my life.

Yes, the new season of Are You The One? began last night. I have three words for you.

BEST. SEASON EVER.

I know I sound crazy making that assumption after the first night. But no more insane than Bria losing her shit over Zak. A guy she’s known for less than 12 hours and has already promised to cut his dick off.  Now that’s true love.

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Bria is worried Zak will do something to make her look stupid like speaking to another female, which kind of negates why they are there in the first place.

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Bria, hon, where ever you are in the world – STOP what you’re doing and listen to Girl, Wash Your Face.

PEOPLE don’t make you do anything. YOU react to the actions of other people.

Wisdom of Rachel Hollis.

Now on to some of my favorite moments:

Every single time Lewis speaks. The guy is pure gold. From his DuckOakanda t-shirt, to his “Let a duck be a duck.” comment about Kenya! (side note: Lewis Belt is an actual comedian from the Bay Area!)

Daniel, the smooch bandit. He delivered one of my favorite lines of the night:

“Bria is the kind of girl who slashes your tires and breaks your windshield then leaves a note saying she did it!”

I’m not sure but I think Daniel kissed 5 girls in the house. One of them being Kenya.

Oh, Kenya. I like her cause she’s strong and goes for what she wants. Then I cover my face and beg for a commercial or a better edit. For as many women Daniel has kissed, Kenya has rubbed her booty on a man’s…you know who. I am all for living your best life. You do you, girl! But you cannot cry when you see Tevin kissing on Jasmine. You can’t claim betrayal when Tevin confesses to kissing someone in the hot tub after you were cuddled up with Daniel for a smooch session.giphy

And Tevin. I had you pegged all wrong. I thought you were cocky and confident. A player. Maybe you were, before Kenya. Either they gave you a bad edit or playing kissy face with Jasmine was more revenge than genuine interest.

Who ever came up with the Fate Button is genius! The challenges were lame anyway. Forcing people to interact with each other should make the game easier to win. Should. The first truth booth was a shot in the dark. Tomas and Maria were a no match. No surprise.

I did find a potential flaw in the fate button. IF they only send couples to the truth booth using the fate button, the odds of getting a perfect match are slim. I’ll assume for now, this is just a way to promote interaction. It cannot be the only way a couple visits the truth booth, otherwise there will be no matches! Technically, there were no matches in season 6 either, but they had Keith.

I’m a total geek when it comes to stats. Which is one reason why I loved Keith from season 6. The boy won it all by process of elimination. I’ve been using this method since season one.

Here is my spreadsheet. It’s pretty simple.

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As couples visit the truth booth, if they sat at a particular match ceremony, I will gray them out as a no match or highlight them in yellow as a match. When I’m really bored I’ll color the couples I think are a match to see if I’m right later. These are the 3 random maybes I have so far.

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I also keep a chart of probability. This shows a process of elimination. This chart is vital in figuring out potential matches after multiple truth booth fails. As the chart shows, we have one confirmed no match.

AYTO

I made a promise to myself to post weekly. I may not have time to write a full blog, but I’ll at least post the charts so we can geek out together!

DISCLAMER: All opinions, inital thoughts, first impressions of the show are subject to change. I apologize to anyone I offended or will offend in the future. I won’t go there with Cam (the Trump-lover). I want to wait a few weeks before I form an opinion.

Hello and Thank you for stopping by!

I felt like I should post something since it’s been forever.

We are less than a week away from BOOK BONANZA 18!!! I am beyond excited.

Per usual, the universe likes to knock me back a step or two.

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The last time this happened, I was riding a high after a writing conference when 4 agents asked to review Thizz. The next day I hit a light pole in the rain and it fell on my car and nearly crushed me to death.

It was probably just my really bad driving skills but it felt like more. Like the universe saying, “Wait a minute, bitch. This isn’t your time.”  So, I didn’t send a single agent an email. Stupid. So stupid. I know. Then a year and a half later I happened to be in the right group at the right time. Murphy Rae was starting Indie Solutions and I did email her. Which set me on the path to self-publish.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I really wish I was traditionally published and I have been working on a book that I plan to query (again, someday, soon). Right now, I need to focus on other projects like:

The Lunam Legacy, book 3 in the Lunam Series

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and Side Game, book 2 in the Men of Trance Series

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WRITING IS HARD

You know how sometimes its really hard to sit down and write a review? Imagine writing a two hundred page review, with proper punctuation and no gifs.

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Plus, my family is so over pizza. I’m going to try meal prepping while I finish these two books. The less time I spend in the kitchen, the more time I have to write. Or pretend to write while sitting at my desk eating cheddar-jack cheese its. It’s a process. Cheese its are part of the process. And coffee. Obscene amounts of coffee. And gin. Lot’s of lovely gin.

The universe likes to fuck up the process a lot. If it’s breaking the ‘N’ key on your keyboard, it’s being audited by the IRS. Like a legit audit. Like a we’re going to take your house audit. If that wasn’t bad enough, a week before the most important event of your writing career someone dies.

People die all the time. This person was my mother-in-law. She was in her eighties and 20170115_145401had stage-4 breast cancer. She was diagnosed 2 years ago, so everyday since then was a blessing. At her age, there was nothing they could do for her. She went quietly in the early morning hours. R.I.P. Crisy

Now, my family is prepping for a funeral and my husband is not going to BB18 with me. While I want to scream and be giddy when I see the seating chart or gush over the fact that I will be breathing the same air as E. L. James. I have to keep it all inside.

You better believe that as soon as my feet hit Denver soil, it’s on. So on. Like really on, like lights on and EVERYBODY’S home!turn up.gif

It’s been awhile cause I’ve been busy doing busy writer shit.

That’s a joke…kind of.

New Release: I did finish the first novel in my next series. As per usual, it is nothing like I’ve written before. It’s a new adult sexy dad thing. Not quite a romance. Not really a comedy. Although the early reviews all seem to think it’s funny. I guess the public will decide. Check GOT MINE here.

Query Update:  I decided to send the manuscript that was kindly rejected, to an editor/proofreader. She is someone that has never read any of my work. I’m hoping that gives me a fresh perspective on my writing.  She came highly recommended and works with one of my fave writers.

Technically, she is beta reading. Beta reading is when someone reads your completed WIP and critiques the shit out of it. Beta readers don’t mess with spelling, grammar, punctuation. They get to the meat and bones of the story. In my case, I want to know the following:

  • Does the plot suck.
  • Are the characters likable.
  • Will the reader care?
  • Does it flow from scene to scene?
  • Does it need more romance, internal dialogue, story?

I won’t share who I’m using until the read is complete. Just so I can give an honest review of her work and how it has affected my work.

Fingers Crossed.

Book Signings:  Here is my lastest signing schedule. I’m hoping to add a few more. One in Seattle and on in San Francisco.   I’d love to meet up! (ticket info below)

Book-Signing-Graphic

Authors in the OC: http://bit.ly/2tkEKvz
Traveling Bookshelf: http://bit.ly/2toSqWH
For the Love of Books NOLA: http://bit.ly/2tl0OGw
For the Love of Books Boston: http://bit.ly/2shMJd1
Book Bonanaza: On sale July 31st.
For the Love of Books Phoenix: http://bit.ly/2tp7Wlo

 

 

I’m sure all my readers are eager to know how my query quest is going. For those that don’t know what the hell is going on I’ll give a brief synopsis. <—- that’s a query joke.

In March I sent a query to an agent, cause that’s how you query. waiting

I waited 6 long weeks for her reply. (Six weeks is standard for query replies)

 

During that time I read my MS and realized it wasn’t really the best it could be so I sent it to someone else to read. She agreed. SO, I prepared myself for the standard boiler plate rejection.

To my surprise…..(drum roll)…. I didn’t get a standard rejection. I got a personalized one. As someone that’s received more than two dozen boiler plate rejections, I gotta say, the personalized one feels much better.

My next dilemma:  The agent asked if I would consider rewriting it as a YA book. If I do decided to rewrite, she said I can resend her the MS in six months.

What to do….What to do…..

Hello! I’m going to rewrite the mother fucker as a YA! It’s almost YA now. I was trying to force the NA tag on it cause I was trying to get away from YA. But maybe YA is my thing. I can write the hell out of some YA.

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So, after I get through the edits on The Lunam Deception (book 2 in the Lunam Series)
which is WAAAYYYY behind.

And I finalize the edits and release for Got Mine. I will sit down slice open a vein and rewrite Alee.

Stay tuned….

 

I sent a query to an agent. I realized after I sent it that I didn’t mention anything about being self-published. It bothered me at first, but now it’s like, whatever. Does it really even matter? My first book bounces around in the top 100,000 on Kindle’s paid list. It’s better than the top 500,000, right? I wondered if my self-published success or failure would impact an agent’s desire to work with me.

After I sent the query I started stalking websites of other agents I might query. Here’s the thing. This agent’s literary agency only takes children’s books. Well, children’s, MG and YA. My book is more like new adult without high sex content. So, why did I query her?

  1. She asked me to.
  2. I have a solid excuse as to why she can’t represent me should she pass.

Excuses. Excuses. I need these to keep me from slipping into a hole filled with donuts and french fries. A hole that will take me hundreds of hours on the treadmill to dig out of.

On my quest to find other agents should this agent pass I realized something.

Not all published books do well.

Agencies liked to list books they represented. So, I looked up a few and found they have less reviews and lower ratings than indie books in the same genre.

I started thinking why am I torturing myself? Why do I stand in front of the class in my underwear. Landing a lit agent might not amount to anything. Why am I setting myself up to fail?

Because what if I don’t.

What if this agent loves this book and knows the right editor who happens to be looking for this style at this time. What if that publisher wants to buy my book?

I have to believe that every great accomplishment started with what if.

What if I build a computer?

What if we make these wheels round?

What if I add cream to this coffee?

What if I look back on this post and think, “What if I never sent that query?”

 

 

 

Like most book snobs of the early 21st century, I’m not a huge fan of books I love coming to life in the form of movies, television shows, or Lifetime Movie Specials. (eek) These days, people (cough, millennials, cough) need visuals. Instant gratification, meals prepped and sent to their homes. Millennials also like copycat movies, television shows, clothing. Taking something as sacred as book and stripping it of its soul in order to make it into something you can watch in 30-minute doses on your cell phone because you’re totes busy – sounds like a fucking horrible idea!

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I have a confession (hee hee); when I heard Colleen Hoover’s book Confess was turning into a show I was actually excited. I tied my high horse to a fence post and joined the hoedown. (Confession #2: I just googled the word hoedown, cause that just doesn’t look right.)

In addition to this book being well-written, funny, and romantic. It also contains seriously kick-ass art by Danny O’Connor.( DOC Art ) Do yourself a favor and look him up!  I have the print below hanging in my office.  It’s my favorite piece from the book.

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“I’ll love you forever, even when I can’t. “

In the last decade, there have been a lot of great books that turned into really good movies and a couple of decent TV shows. (Confession #3: I didn’t read Me Before You because I heard it was being made into a movie.)

Although we love the image of the book boyfriends we make up in our head; we sure spend a lot of time looking for shirtless models to match the fantasy. And when you hear about one of your all-time fave books being cast – you’re less than thrilled. Scared even. I was there for every second of the Twilight casting. It was brutal. Then you have the 50 Shades debacle. Is it Charlie Hunnam or isn’t it!!

In the case of Confess I have to say, they nailed it!

This is Owen Mason Gentry (OMG, yes OMG)

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This is Auburn.(no last name)

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And this is the famous OMG gnome.

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And this is the link to watch the trailer. OMFG!