Brief Tutorial on Marriage

There are so many things you can’t do when you’re married. 

  1. You can’t kiss other people.
  2. You can’t have sex with other people. A girls’ night, becomes you and your kissing-bargirlfriends just pretending to be sluts.
  3. You can’t be friends with single people. You can’t meet someone of the opposite sex at a bar or the gym; exchange phone numbers to grab a drink later and hang out. (did I mention no sex with other people?)
  4. No flirting. The people you are allowed to flirt with just dwindled down to almost no one. Your husband. Your drunk best friend. Her husband (maybe and depending on how drunk you are). The kid that bags your groceries. Random waitresses and bartenders. They’re only humoring you so you’ll leave a good tip.hangcuffs
  5. You can’t leave. You have to go home every night. Sleeping at a friend’s house takes on a whole new meaning. Can you imagine your husband or wife calling to say they just decided to crash at a friend’s place on Saturday? If you are within a three-hundred-mile radius, you better take your ass home.
  6. giphyNot caring is no longer an option. You always have to care. About food (was it good, did look like the buzz feed video), a post on Facebook, a funny tweet, feelings. Feelings are important to married people.

Do you care about my feelings? Do I care about his? Does he respect my feelings? Does he understand my feelings? Can he spell the word feelings?

6. Kids. Do you want them? Can you have them? Do you have too many? You can’t have them. He has too many.

Because of the things we can’t do, we reevaluate boring shit and classify it as fun. Some examples:

  1. IKEA
  2. Painting shit or general home improvements.
  3. Yard work
  4. Brunch
  5. PG-13 movies
  6. Sex on a Tuesday
  7. Washing dishes together.
  8. Reading on a Saturday night.
  9. Wine in a box.
  10. Craft beer tasting. Craft beer in general.
  11. Pinterest
  12. Card games that don’t involve alcohol or nudity.
  13. Kids.

Marriage can eventually become something enjoyable. When feelings are no longer hurt, when leaving is no longer a threat, when kids finally grow the fuck up.

Until then, drink heavily my friends.

Book Birthday Week

I can’t believe its only been one year. Just 12 months since my first book was released.

I feel so blessed and humbled by the support and love I’ve received from the book community. There are no words, and for a writer, that is pretty serious.

I’m kicking off my book birthday week by giving away my book for FREE.

That’s right. FREE.

FREE THIZZ FOR EVERYONE!

Get it here: http://amzn.to/2e75dSJ

free-book-birthday

#writerslife

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Teaser Tuesday – The Lunam Ceremony

Like most eighteen-year-old girls, Kalysia has dreams of going to college and falling in love. Born to a family of pureblood shifters; she must set aside her dreams for the good of the pack. Something this strong-willed free spirit is finding difficult to accept.

Soon she discovers her best friend and her soulmate harbor a secret. An offer has been made that will give Kalysia a chance to live the life she’s always wanted. One night of selflessness, leads to an act of betrayal, that uncovers a secret hidden by the pack elders, and threatens to destroy them all. teaser_vineyard

FREE on Kindle Unlimited

Only $1.50 Kindle: http://amzn.to/2cI1tHN

No Teaser Tuesday.

I was going to make a teaser but I couldn’t get all the post-debate crap out of my head.

So many memes, jokes, gifs. Lots of great stuff out there. Then I realized that this isn’t a joke. We are going to vote for one of these people to run our country. Holy shit. So, I did what all good Americans do. I made a meme and posted it on Facebook.

Here is the post:

“In all seriousness, I feel like the debate gave a clear and decisive look at the two people vying for the power to run our country. All jokes aside, there were very valid and poignant points made. Clearly, one candidate proved to be the more mature and intelligent option. At the end of the day, this isn’t a joke or a pun this is the future of our country. Born here or flown here, this is the place we call home. We need to make sure the person running it isn’t going to screw it up. All personal feelings aside, make a choice that helps ALL Americans now and in the future. #VoteSmart

And the meme:

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***Although I am blood related to the children in this photo, I didn’t get permission from their parents to use this for my own political agenda. They can sue me or thank me.

If you want to follow me on Facebook: Click here.

Happy Tuesday.

Goodreads Giveaway!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Illusion of Ecstasy by Nicole Loufas

Illusion of Ecstasy

by Nicole Loufas

Giveaway ends November 05, 2016.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter Giveaway

 

Live Through It: Birthday Wisdom

When I was fourteen I knew everything. I’d seen everything. I was right about everything. You couldn’t tell me anything.

When I was twenty-four I was wrong about everything. I screwed up everything. You couldn’t get me to believe in anything.

When I was thirty-four I figured out some things. I saw some things. Learned some things. You couldn’t convince me to change a thing.

Today I’m forty-four. I’ve seen a lot of things. Been through some shitty things. Came through big on some great things. Learned good things. Listened to some better things. Realized things, like things don’t matter. When I thought I knew everything, nothing made sense. When I surrendered to the fact that I knew nothing, my life started to mean something.

I’ve known it all. Seen it all. Loved it all. Left it all. Lost it all. Found it all. Ate it all. Created it all. And most importantly – lived through it all.

Vote for ME!

So, I was going to this site to vote for a friend’s book. As I was scrolling down the list, guess what I saw…MY book. Someone nominated me for the Summer Book Indie Awards, by Metamorph Publishingindie-badge

Thizz, A Love Story was nominated in the Young Adult genre.

Vote here!

There are lots of awesome books nominated in a whole heap of genres! Check them out here.

 

Cover Reveal!

Cover reveal for The Illusion of Ecstasy, the next dose in the Thizz series!
Cover Design: Indie Solutions by Murphy Rae

Add it to your Goodreads: http://bit.ly/29CwPzi
Amazon Pre-order: Coming soon!

Synopsis:

When Dani discovered the cash hidden in her attic, she had no idea the problems it would bring. With the help of the Marino’s, Dani is able to launder her father’s dirty money, but their help comes with a price. Her relationship with Matt.

Not wanting to hurt Dani’s future or freedom, Matt removes himself from the equation to keep everyone safe. But when it’s time to go home, he has to decide which is more important – watching his little sister grow up or returning to the girl of his dreams.Thizz2_Full

Nick is determined to make good on all the bad he’s caused, and has finally accepted his role as a Marino. Fate doesn’t make it easy for him. Especially, when he returns from Europe to find Dani is falling apart. With Matt out of the picture, Nick contemplates a future with the only girl he’s ever loved.

In the conclusion to Thizz, A Love Story, follow Dani, Matt, and Nick on a soul-searching journey into adulthood. The Illusion of Ecstasy explores the emotional tribulations they encounter without the help of thizz. How to deal with real emotion becomes the biggest obstacle of all on their road to maturity.

Want to read an ARC in exchange for an honest Amazon and Goodreads review?

Sign up here

Inside Author Summit !

Have you ever wondered how your favorite author came up with an idea or a character?

Have you ever wanted to just sit down and talk to them?NLoufas 3

Have you ever wished you could pick their brain?

Join the Author Insider Summit now for never-before-seen intimate interviews with authors you love talking about their passion for those characters you wish were real.

Sign up here and don’t miss a single interview!

Watch me ramble about The Lunam Ceremony and the motivation behind the story. Also my thoughts on Kalysia and why people either hate her or love her.

Here is the full line-up. Sign up now!

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